I don't want you to answer this part, I want you to keep it in. You are the love of my life. You are everything I've ever wanted in a girlfriend or someone to spend the rest of my life with. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, inside and out. I love you Veronica.
Chantz
I miss the way you held my heart.
Why can't love be everything? Why can't if fix it all or save that person??
How can you love someone so much and it still doesn't make a difference?
I came back that night..and it still didn't matter.
I don't think I will ever understand that
Days like these make me think more about what's on the other side waiting for me than what's in store for me in this life.
One should either feel alive or dead. Not both at the same time.
Eight months today, and it hasn't gotten any easier to live without you.
Even though I stopped drinking as a way of coping, I've done just that every sixth without fail. It's almost like I'm trying to revert back to self destruction. I think today/technically tomorrow I will spend my day in a way that I know honors you.
I started drawing and painting more like you wanted me to. I'm even thinking about displaying it at an art function pretty soon. You're the one person who encouraged me the most in that aspect, and I just wish you were here to see it. I used one of the canvases and paints you got me a little over a month ago. I was so afraid I'd ruin it and wouldn't be able to fix it, and then I would have to buy my own canvases that didn't come from you. But no worries cause it actually was decent.
I think I will spend tomorrow painting the other canvas you got me.
For you
<3
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