Laugh when you can.

I have to scream it from the mountain tops!!!!...but since I don't have a mountain, and I do in fact have a blog I figured I would share here instead.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY!

I woke up with a smile on my face.
I felt like old me, all day today.
There was a pressure in my chest...it's that feeling that lets you know you're alive....it's like your soul's heart is beating too, not just your body's.
That's been missing for 8 months.
There have been times when I've felt it but it's never been a full day.

I felt like a normal college student today. I talked to my favorite professor who I've let down this semester and patched things up with her. Went to my class and enjoyed it so much, I forgot how much I love learning and studying what I'm passionate about. And went to the movies for half price night.
Today was simple.
And so very beautiful.

I even texted my mother and two best friends to tell them about it, because obviously they had nothing better to do than to sit there and read my messages.

Every victory has to be celebrated, no matter how small.

This feeling also intensified the longing I have for Chantz though. I've wanted to call him and tell him about my good day.
That's the thing though...the more alive you feel, the more of everything you can feel too.
But somehow, knowing I couldn't talk to him didn't bring me down like it always does. I think he already knows..somewhere, even if it's just in my head. He knows that today was a good day, and he's proud of me for staying around for so long to experience happiness once more.


I am alive.

Hope       Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune--without the words, And never stops at all, And sweetest in the gale is heard; And sore must be the storm That could abash the little bird That kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chillest land, And on the strangest sea; Yet, never, in extremity, It asked a crumb of me.