Elliott Smith

He has been a comfort to listen to since you've been gone. His depth and turmoil are so well expressed through his music. 

This song is what sorrow sounds like

"Waltz #1"
Every time the day darkens down and goes away
Pictures open in my head of me and you
Silent and cliche, all the things we did and didn't say
Covered up by what we did and didn't do
Going through every out I used to cop to make the repetition stop
What was I supposed to say?

Now I never leave my zone, we're both alone
I'm going home
I wish I'd never seen your face

My heart aches

Thoughts of Chantz keep me up at night.
Sometimes I'm angry enough to really wish I had never met him.
I wouldn't have known such sorrow if  I had never dated him, only to just lose him in the end.
But I also wouldn't have known love like I did, especially at such a young age when most date so frivolously.

I don't love lightly.
It took me a long time to fall in love with Chantz.
And even longer to realize that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him someday.

I don't want to become bitter or cynical, but when I think about the entire situation, what else can I be?
Thankful? Optimistic?..I'm just not there yet.
I am in love with a ghost, with someone I yearn for every day and will never have again.
The concept of hope doesn't exist here.
But the concept of healing does.