Robert Frost was right...it goes on.
happiness.
excitement.
giddiness.
so much laughter, and friendship..and life.
It's different this time, it's all so much...more. As if my capacity for growth and love and an appreciation for life has only increased because of all of this.
But at what cost??
Couldn't there have been a different way to get here?
What else could I have done?
Will I always ask myself these things?
This past weekend was the best of my year thus far. Beautiful moments.
Saw my favorite band for the first time.
All those times I raved about getting to see Iron & Wine and how you said you would come along and join me for that special moment. You weren't there....yet, the moment was still perfect.
It's a truly bittersweet change.
But still, my heart gets torn at the smallest reminders of you. A phrase you used to say, a poem, seeing your name written on a piece of paper I had forgotten about, an identical pair of old shorts that you once got bleach on and continued to wear...they now sit neatly folded in a box with things I have left of you....It makes me catch my breath. I still remember you so clearly.
You see, I've been working on mending that hole every day, but sometimes the strings are pulled out of my skin when I least expect them to.
I still feel heavy.
I am so glad you got to go to Austin. What an amazing bunch of friends you are blessed to have. You are so beloved.
ReplyDeleteAn acquaintance of mine (husband, father of two lovely little girls) harmed himself Monday night. He is in ICU, unresponsive. I suppose they'll remove life support today. One of my closest friends lost her wonderful daughter to suicide three years ago. My own mother committed suicide, though it took awhile for her injuries to resolve into death. I cannot fathom how anyone can feel so hopeless that they take such an extreme measure. Life is so precious.
Beloved, it was a very good idea to create this blog. Suicide is a horrible problem and we do need to raise awareness of it. Bless you for being proactive. You amaze me.
I love you, dear Veronica, and I respect you for being the woman you are.
I so enjoy your blogs, please keep writing them.
ReplyDeleteLife is precious I agree, I am a mentally ill person, I have been this way for years. Keeping this in mind I can try to explain how we feel when we fathom the thoughts of suicide. When I was suicidal I was lost in hopelessness, like there wasn't any hope for recovery. I also felt like I was a burden to my friends and family, when in fact I was actually hurting them and didn't even realize it. I was sad all the time, I couldn't even breathe half the time because of my tears. I was lazy and didn't care about anything. the things I had an interest in was gone. This mental illness destroyed a lot in my life, but I refuse to let it destroy my friends and families lives, I refuse to allow it to hurt the innocent. So yes if you know someone who is suicidal, get them the help they deserve. They aren't doing this to attack you, they are ill, they are not in their right frame of mind. So it is up to us who loves them to get them the help they need. Don't say to them "Get some help" get it for them. Avenues to take are, pick them up and take them to an emergency room if you can get them to go peacefully. If they won't go then calling the police is a help. They will file an app for detention forcing them to seek medical attention, hence them getting better. This is a serious medical emergency and should be treated as if the patient is having a heart attack or a stroke. We who are mentally ill don't always know what is right for us, that is why we have others such as yourselves to be here for us. And for that I am eternally grateful. Keep writing those Blogs Veronica I enjoy them so much. Until next time, I say I love you all...
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