May 28

"You're smart, you're beautiful, you're sweet and you're the love of my life. Don't ever change a bit and do not for one second let anyone even get a second thought about you. "

I just recently found this in one of the many e-mails Chantz sent me while I was away in Spain.
I've read those countless times but I dont remember ever reading this one...almost felt like a message from him.

It was kind of eerie to read those words, they stopped me cold because I'm changed... I am not that person anymore. I've tried to destroy who I used to be entirely so it feels like someone who doesn't exist anymore lost him...not this girl, not me.

You wouldn't recongnize me anymore...I wonder if you would even love me.

I should take it as some sort of message..not from the beyond, but just a reminder from you. I need those sometimes.
As always, I love you.

A year ago today Chantz had finished his first week of his paid internship. He was really excited about the possibilities, getting paid to learn about what he was passionate about, and about the remaining couple of weeks of it. He had to dress up on the last day of week one and this is what he wore. I told him to keep it on until I got to his house because I loved seeing him dressed up and I had to take a picture of course. I was really happy for him because he actually set out to do something great and he was succeeding fast. Last summer was supposed to be the beginning of a lot of things for him, and they were all taking off. I always wonder where'd you be today and why you couldn't stay here to find out. I wanted to see you get there.